I'm Mr. Descripto. I've never been married. I've never even touched a girl's arm. Or hand. I imagine it feels like soft whipped cream. I guess if I became king I could make someone marry me. Then I'd make her cheat on me just to get it out of the way. Then I'd hold he whipped cream hand and we would walk around people so they would think I'm a cool king. A cool whip king. Ugh.
Thank you again to Reddit user Zanderlicious (go give him Karma)
Thanks for listening to me,